Intrepid Girl Reporter

Saturday, 9/13: nooooooooooo
September 14, 2008, 5:48 am
Filed under: IGR Recommends

Please, allow me to torment you with what you cannot have:

I watched the terrific documentary “Hands on a Hardbody” (NO it is not porn), which was recently featured on a certain radio program with which I have a love-hate relationship, via Google Video. Then I navigated away from the window. As soon as I did, I was like, “Gee, I hope they didn’t just take it down and make it inaccessible or something, since I failed to save the link address.” WELL THEY DID, so now you will probably have to pay some sort of money to see it. But you should. It’s fantastic.

All you get for free is the trailer, which really speaks for itself.

Other news: I, former queen of the academic team and notoriously clueless spectator, have attended two football games in two days. I’m not sure how it happened either, just like I’m not sure how my family managed to produce a cheerleader, a nerd, and a member of the marching band. John Hughes called, he wants his cast back.

My brother’s high school has a long athletic tradition. Students mill around the bleachers, under the lights, wearing shirts that read “Topper Nation: Where Only The Strong Belong.” Casting aside the connotations of the Aryan Nation that such a philosophy suggests*, it is a very…traditional atmosphere.**  Nonetheless, the school still seems to feel the need to soup up the proceedings, as it were, by incorporating such tactics as the Extreme Time Out, sponsored by State of Franklin Bank, Home of Extreme Checking. I assume you have to tackle someone to open an account there. Further efforts to bring the game up-to-date came from the opposing team’s marching band, who, in an effort to avoid stuffiness, presented as their halftime show A Tribute to 70s Symphonic Progressive Rock. Ten minutes of Emerson, Lake and Palmer later, I was sold. On the game, the night, even the Extreme Checking. It’s difficult not to get swept up by such sincere efforts.

Today was La Sister’s*** debut as a cheerleader at UT, hence the second game. Opening day at Neyland Stadium is not to be missed: it’s a tangle of orange dresses, men dressed like coonhounds, sweat, and “Rocky Top.” The words to Tennessee’s unofficial fight song can be found below. I can play it on the mandolin, which makes me better than you.

Wish that I was on ol’ ROCKY TOP,
Down in the Tennessee hills;
Ain’t no smoggy smoke on ROCKY TOP,
Ain’t no telephone bills.
Once I had a girl on ROCKY TOP,
Half bear, other half cat;
Wild as a mink, but sweet as soda pop,
I still dream about that.

ROCKY TOP, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me;
Good ol’ ROCKY TOP–
ROCKY TOP Tennessee, ROCKY TOP Tennessee.

Once two strangers climbed ol’ ROCKY TOP
Lookin’ for a moonshine still;
Strangers ain’t come down from ROCKY TOP
Reckon they never will.
Corn won’t grow at all on ROCKY TOP
Dirt’s too rocky by far;
That’s why all the folks on ROCKY TOP
Get their corn from a jar.


I’ve had years of cramped-up city life
Trapped like a duck in a pen
All I know is it’s a pity life
Can’t be simple again.


*Which actually would be somewhat inaccurate, given that his high school has the highest proportion of minorities in a three-county radius.

**Dancing top hat of a mascot notwithstanding.

***New pseudonym. Miguk Little Sister takes too long to type, and La Sister fits her personality better anyway.


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Did you do quick recall or future problem solving? I’ll need to know for trivia someday.

Comment by Brendan

QR for four years in high school, debate for two, forensics in middle school, and Odyssey of the Mind (which is similar to FPS) in elementary school. I wasn’t TRYING to cover all the bases, I just happened to be extremely competitive.

Comment by IGR

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